What’s that lump on the couch? Oh yeah. It’s me.

It’s been over a week since A Streetcar Named Desire closed. Since then, I’ve gone into a laziness phase. It’s not good. The activity of the show kept me on the move, which meant I was healthier in my pregnancy. I don’t want to be as intensely active as I was in the show (oh the aches and pains that came along with that!), but I also don’t want to turn into a couch potato. Oh, how I wish I was more self-motivated to exercise!

We have this wonderful treadmill in our basement. Recently, while moving some furniture, it was placed in such a way that I can’t use it. I know I can’t move it myself, but keep forgetting to make the request of my hubby (is it my subconscious way of maintaining my awful lazy behaviors?). A little treadmill time each day would undoubtedly be good for me. And perhaps some extra park time with the boys - though I have a hard time keeping up with them. I wish I had their energy!

So, basically I’m whining about how lazy I am. I would rather take a nap then exercise, rather play a sit-down game than take the boys to the park, rather eat ice cream than cottage cheese. I need help! I need accountability! I need motivation!

In the meantime… Facebook isn’t going to obsess over itself. 

The Last Pregnancy

As I firmly enter the third trimester of my pregnancy, I am experiencing a myriad of emotions. This pregnancy has been relatively quick so far due to a busy schedule – primarily due to my time in A Streetcar Named Desire. I can’t believe that Baby Tres will be here in just a couple months!

As the moments tick by, the usual end-of-pregnancy questions of readiness pop in my head.

The nursery is far from prepared. Currently the baby’s room is scattered with boxes of baby/toddler clothes. The crib sits without a mattress and the walls are depressingly sparse of décor. Still, I have August and some of September to rectify this and make a welcoming home for the little one.

I also tense up when I recall the struggle involved in Jacob’s first months of life. His fussy nature, coupled with my personal health issues, led to a less than ideal time. Plus, dealing with these things while sleep deprived inevitably ends with emotional breakdowns and teary arguments with Joshua. Not something I look forward to.

Still, while the concerns of readiness are ever-present, something else lingers in my thoughts… How do I feel about this being my last pregnancy?

Often, I look forward to moving past this phase in my life. I spent a good portion of the last four years pregnant, and I joyfully anticipate reclaiming my body. Pregnancy does not usually agree with me. Those of you who have been around me (or talked to me) during my first trimester know how miserable a time it is. And later weeks of pregnancy are accompanied with preeclampsia, gestational diabetes, migraines, and other pregnancy-specific ailments.

Because of these issues, Joshua and I decided that we would stop with three kids, rather than the four we initially hoped for. Usually I am more than happy with this decision, but there are moments when doubt creeps in, and I become sad thinking about the end of this chapter in our lives. There are some unique delights that come with pregnancy, and the knowledge that those will soon be over sometimes makes my heart ache.

For instance…

When carrying Nolan, his movements initially threw me. It was, frankly, weird having another living creature inside of me. I hope I don’t offend other mamas, but I frequently compared Nolan’s twists and turns to an alien within. In time, however, the movements became less strange and more comforting. I now find myself smiling down at my belly when the baby moves – like s/he is saying hello and I smile a hello in return. When alone, I like to use these moments to tell her/him a story. It’s such a joy!

There is also a special relationship that Joshua and I have while I’m pregnant. I am my husband’s biggest fan. I love him with all my being and believe God smiled on me the day He allowed our paths to cross. I am blessed each day I get to be with him. But there is an extra tenderness - a deeper protectiveness - that is present during this time. It’s like we are constantly aware, no matter the craziness around us, that we are participating in something amazing, something miraculous, something beyond us. I cherish these moments with Joshua. Not that we won’t have incredible moments in the future (pshaw!), but there will always be nostalgia for these pregnancy journeys travelled beside him.

Pregnancy can be ugly. It can hurt and frustrate. Hormone levels can make dealing with life feel nearly impossible. But there are qualities and moments in pregnancy that supersede any difficulties. I will be eternally grateful for the blessing of these three pregnancies. I will mourn their passing. I will cherish the memories – often with a teary eye.

Thank you, God, for gifting me with each and every second.

‘Streetcar Named Desire’ stages battle between new, old worlds

By Tom McClary - For the CDT

July 15, 2010 7:24pm EDT

Unexpected visits from family or friends are often times joyous occasions. But the surprise arrival in the State College Community Theatre’s fourth summer production, Tennessee Williams’ masterpiece “A Streetcar Named Desire,” threatens to tear an entire family apart.

Set in post-World War II New Orleans, the drama chronicles the wrenching dilemmas precipitated when Blanche DuBois shows up suddenly from Mississippi on her married sister Stella’s doorstep. Although the subsequent conflict between the siblings is harrowing, the play’s epic battle is reserved for the visitor and her brother-in-law, Stanley Kowalski.

“Streetcar” operates on many thematic levels. It is at once a study of reality and illusion, a history of the fall of the “old South” and the rise of American industrialism, and a meditation on the relative virtues of romantic idealism and skeptical, self-serving pragmatism. The play is also an exemplar of Williams’ signature brand of poetic dialog.

It premiered on Broadway in 1947 and won the Pulitzer Prize for 1948. It is often revived (most recently in London in 2009 and New York in 2005), was turned into a multi-Academy Award winning movie in 1951, has been twice filmed for television, and was adapted for the operatic stage in 1998 by Andre Previn with Renee Fleming as Blanche.

Williams’ other major dramatic works include “The Glass Menagerie,” “Summer and Smoke,” “Cat on a Hot Tin Roof,” “Sweet Bird of Youth,” “Suddenly Last Summer” and “The Night of the Iguana.” Many of these stage successes also transitioned well to the cinematic screen.

This SCCT production of “A Streetcar Named Desire” is directed by Charles Dumas and produced by David Price and Amber Daughtry. The sets are designed by Jon Vickers-Jones, and the costumes are designed by Ramona Broomer. David Jesukiewicz is the stage manager.

Susan Riddiford Shedd, artistic director of the Nittany Valley Shakespeare Festival and operations manager of The State Theatre, takes on the daunting task of portraying of Blanche.

“The most challenging thing about this job is the very short rehearsal time — three weeks — given to a play and role of this magnitude,” Shedd said.

Sunam Ellis, a self-described “stay-at-home mom with two amazing boys,” plays Blanche’s younger sister Stella. Ellis said her director has described Stella as “the battlefield and the prize” for both Blanche and Stanley.

“Stella left the more refined world of Belle Reve (her ancestral home) about 10 years before we see her in the play, and since then, she has embraced the more earthy and primal world of Stanley with arms wide open,” Ellis said. “Blanche’s appearance creates a struggle for Stella as she tries to reconcile these two worlds — without much success.”

Ellis assessed the production.

“Plays just aren’t written like this anymore,” she said. “The depth of the characters is phenomenal, and the gradual growth of tension … is a marvel to see (and perform).”

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